Chinese Phood Epilogue: Do It Yourself Matsutake/Pork Ribs & Cauliflower Stir-fry

I was asked by a friend for some recipes based on one of the dishes that I had mentioned as a part of the Chinese Phood trilogy. This got me thinking, perhaps it may be a good idea to start including DIY instructions whenever possible. Now, I intentionally used "instructions" instead of "recipe" because I don't really use recipes. To me, Chinese cooking is increasingly becoming a state of mind, a philosophy of food preparation, as opposed to any set repertoire of dishes.

So I'll add some basic directions, and assuming you have any skill at all in operating a large skillet or wok without getting burned, modify to your heart's content.

Chinese Phood Epilogue: Do It Yourself Sichuan Lobster & Sichuan Steak

Introduction: I was asked by a friend for some recipes based on one of the dishes that I had mentioned as a part of the Chinese Phood trilogy. This got me thinking, perhaps it may be a good idea to start including DIY instructions whenever possible. Now, I intentionally used "instructions" instead of "recipe" because I don't really use recipes. To me, Chinese cooking is increasingly becoming a state of mind, a philosophy of food preparation, as opposed to any set repertoire of dishes.

So I'll add some basic directions, and assuming you have any skill at all in operating a large skillet or wok without getting burned, modify to your heart's content.

The Chinese Phood Trilogy

Yes, after all this time, I finally wrote something new. And the new stuff I wrote... is about a year old. Last year, I headed to Beijing, for no reason in particular, aside from having a good time. And that usually means having some good food. Just like China itself, Chinese food is always changing. And here, I document some of my culinary adventure, a mix of old and new. Read it in three parts, starting with Part 1 of my food channel.

Do you even Chinese Phood, brah? Pt 3

This is Part 3 of my Beijing food non-odyssey. Make sure to check out Part 1 and Part 2 first!

So, aside from the more formal dining experiences, I wanted to end this with some real-deal food experiences. I mean, real northern Chinese goodness. Which is why, the morning that I was flying back to SFO, I specifically requested a visit to a Northeastern style restaurant.

Now, it's important to point out that in the Northeast, we friggin love our stews. And offal makes awesome stew. Here, I present to you our sauerkraut stew with pork innards (WARNING: not kosher).

You know your broth is thick when the turbidity reaches Beijing smog levels

By the way, this restaurant was a real hoot. It uses authentic Cultural Revolution-era paraphernalia, like this water mug and various serving plates. If you're a fan of Sino-Soviet drab, then this is the place to go. These things were god awful to handle - they had zero insulation - notice the napkin on the handle, shielding your finger from the scorching hot water inside. Must have been fun times.

Chairman Mao say: Even the smallest spark can create a wildfire.

Those of you who know me IRL know that I love tofu. But not necessarily the same tofu as what you're thinking. It comes in hundreds of different forms, and blends well with most flavors that it's paired with. This is one of the quintessential Manchurian dishes - dried tofu skin w/ pepper. Yet another dish that I'd be happy to go vegetarian for.

Not your average tofu.

Then, we have a famous cold dish, which consists of bean threads. Well, not so much threads as a big fat noodle. They're made of mung bean, and available at your local Asian grocer. It's an appetizer/salad, and we use Chinese cucumber and sometimes a few extras, mixed with a sesame/vinegar blend. This thing smacks of home. 

A Manchurian cold dish 

Aside from that restaurant, I got my hands on some authentic Chinese yogurt. Don't get me wrong. Most yogurt in China is packaged like yogurt here - disposable plastic cups. This was how it used to be when I was growing up. And like your dad swears by beer from a glass bottle, I'll swear by this yogurt in a reusable ceramic mug. You'll usually see this stuff stacked up in a few crates high at a streetside snack vendor. Aside from the obviously unhygienic appearance, I can assure you that I definitely had some qualms about drinking this. Especially since it wasn't so much refrigerated as it was just... left outside. And yes, that is a rubber band holding a paper cover over the mug as a seal.

Not exactly Chobani

And who can forget the skewers?! These lamb skewers are to die for. Sure, it's over an electric grill, but it still tasted great. The skewers are repeated brushed with chili oil, cumin, sesame, and some other spices to achieve that nice "western" flavor. You're likely to see this in most major cities in China, as well as the streets of Flushing, NY.

Get one.

One day, I went out to try some Central Chinese food. Not the biggest fan, but it was likely to be more authentic than most places back in the states. And you can't have Shaanxi cuisine without the legendary Roujiamo meat sandwich. You don't really see a lot of Shaanxi cuisine representation in the US, probably because it's not the go-to match for American taste buds, but there are some inroads being made. Most famously, by Xi'an Famous Foods. 

The Chinese Hamburger

Finally, I went on a roadtrip to the middle of nowhere in Hebei Province outside Beijing. It was an artist's collective (as in, it was a cheap place to stay that apparently attracted tons of artists). Little did I know I was in for a special treat. We ordered a lamb base firepot, and we just went a little nuts. A couple catties of lamb ribs and an hour of in-person stewing later, we had this superthick broth that had about 1cm of grease rendering at the very top. The firepot was also our sole source of heat, so that once we took the sterno away, the grease quickly congealed to seal in that saturated fatty goodness. On an entirely unrelated note, I had zero need for lip balm that day.

Anyways, if you read Part 1, Part 2, and now this article, thanks for joining me on this Chinese Food Phood adventure. God knows the next time I visit China, what I'll find next. Hopefully a little bit of the past and a little of the future.

Do you even Chinese Phood, brah? Pt 2

Here's Part 2 of my Beijing food non-odyssey. Make sure to check out Part 1 first.

So here I was, thinking that the rest of this would be a pretty traditional Chinese meal. Nope. By the time the meal was over, I had to figuratively and literally digest what had just happened. Because to me, some of the dishes didn't seem to resemble any truly local foods I knew. Here are some other "Chinese" foods enjoyed in Beijing that day. (sarcastiquotes intended)

Do you even Chinese Phood, brah? Pt 1

Yeah, yeah, it's been a minute since my last post(s). Shame on me, blah blah blah. But are you ready for some more foodp0rn? I mean the really good stuff. No Panda Expressin' it here. Let's see how well you know real Chinese food...

These are from my last trip to Beijing, which I've been lazy about uploading. But you know I wouldn't leave you hanging forever, right? Now, let's talk northern Chinese food.

When you're in Beijing (née Peking), you have Peking duck.

"But wait, AJ, I have Peking Duck all the time at [such and such] Chinatown!"

Ok, first of all, wrong. Chances are, you have a Cantonese roast duck. Mostly because chances are, you're living by a Cantonese Chinatown. For a number of historical reasons that I'll punt to another AJ blog on another day, that's going to be the case.

The Chinatown duck, dripping with grease, is NOT Peking Duck. Credit: Laika ac

To the untrained eye, all ducks might look the same (there's a joke to be made here), but they're completely different. Duck, of course, naturally has a thick layer of fat, especially around the breast area. An authentic Peking Duck will have its skin -- as well as the adjoining fat -- roasted to a crisp (think chicharron) . In fact, the skin is arguably the biggest draw when consuming the duck.

When ordering a Peking Duck, it's important to note these niblets of knowledge:

• The type of duck is also called a "Pekin" variety. And yes, that name obviously comes from Beijing. It's your standard, homestead-variety white duck, bred and domesticated ages ago in ancient China.
• Proper Peking Duck is roasted in a wood-fired oven. In the dusty plains of Northern China, wood has historically been a scarce resource... so naturally the elites had to make it even harder by specifying a particular type of wood... from the jujube (Chinese date) tree. Low smoke levels and a pleasant aroma are some of the more practical reasons for using this type of wood.
• It's an experience. When dining in, a proper duck is sliced by a specially-trained chef (think Japanese puffer fish, but sans toxin). The better restaurants will always try to make some kind of visual spectacle of the "carving", and will do it at your table, right before your eyes.

Our diligent chef carving away

More fun facts:

• The Peking Duck is meticulously sliced into precisely (an auspicious) 108 pieces. However, unless you're going to sit there for 15 minutes and Count von Count the exact number, your chef will probably also take some liberties with that number. But definitely feel free to contrast this with the Chinatown duck experience.
• After slicing, you're asked by the establishment how you'd like to consume the leftovers (mostly bone meat). Usually patrons choose between making duck soup or tossing it in a stir fry. You can also take the bone meat as-is or refuse it altogether (if you're feeling particularly wasteful, which is apparently new Beijing chic).

Special Note 1: At this point, you'll have to excuse the low-light environment. This was one of the more favored restaurants by locals in central Beijing, but it also happened to have the ambiance of a nightclub. Well, given that I was being treated I wasn't going to complain.

Here's what one plate of sliced duck looked like :

I think we got two or three of these plates

Don't forget to pack the condiments.

One thing that's really important to note is that you don't just eat the duck straight. Because no, that would just be too easy, wouldn't it? No, like everything else that's associated with the imperial elite, foods had to be presented with extravagance but consumed with conservatism. That's why we have all these nice condiments.

• Traditionally, the must-have condiments were scallion/green onion and plum sauce/sweet bean paste. Nowadays, upscale restaurants will start charging for your condiment "set", so they've dressed it up quite a bit, with things like sea salt, pickled radishes, and veggies.

The point is to wrap it all up like a mini egg roll.

I tried and did a horrible job. Not just that, but I realized I was doing it wrong the whole time. My little Peking Duck roll was subpar. No pics, sorry.

Special Note 2: At this point, I'll now confess that I was kind of on a traditional Chinese set-up date for this meal. Yeah, I know. That's why I didn't go full-on crazy with the photos (sorry). But the good thing is, you can enjoy Jane's beautiful, impeccably well-manicured hands school me on how to properly roll a Peking Duck.

You do it with your chopsticks, apparently. smh moment.

So, mine (just trust me on this) ended up looking like silly-putty on the asphalt in a Fresno summer. Whereas much like Jane herself, her roll was neat, slim, and exquisitely presented:

It was tasty.

So this one in the photo above was made for me (I know, aww). Anyways, did it taste any better than my own? Objectively, no. But I sure enjoyed seeing it get made. And I suppose that's really half the fun of Peking Duck -- it's as much a show as it is a tasty entree.

One final thing. I don't really eat duck too often. To be honest, it's not my favorite thing and I feel a little weird eating it. I guess it's because ducks are among my favorite creatures. I take photos of them anytime I see them. Ducks pair for life, which I find incredibly endearing. You'll never find a duck more than a few yards away from its mate. So suffice it to say that while I certainly enjoy this delicacy, it's not an everyday food for me to any degree.

That's it for now, but stay tuned for Part 2 of what (I'm hoping) will be a 3-part series on me catching this blog up with Chinese food, IRL.